Mark H. Ryan's Pain Journal

Pill #2 Down The Hatch! Ok, 16 minutes ago #2 was history. I have noticed a pretty significant change in body movement since the first dose. It is almost a night and day type of effect. I still feel the pain but it feels as though the pain receptors are moved a little farther away, almost like if you would turn on a box fan, and sit farther away from it then you would normally. You still feel the air but just not as much as if you were right in front of it. Very odd to have this sensation after 10 years. The Neurontin hasn't healed me, nor diagnosed me, but hopefully will lessen the grip of whatever it is that has a hold of me. Looks like I might have a little better sleep tonight. See you on pill 3. -Sent from my iPod Touch 3G-

I would have included this in the very last post but my mother in law JUST dropped off a few extra Neurotin she had. Yes, I know, dont take others medications, I dont reccomend it but, this was perscribed to me by my doctor. Same mg and all, I am not able to get out at the present so, I was lucky enough to be able to have the medications dropped off to me. Thank God. So... here I lay. On my bed, and have just taken my first pill about almost 10 minutes ago. *timing it on my ipod* I tend to put a lot of emphesis on certain things that I probably shouldnt. Of course I am not feeling this pill yet, if I will at all, but I have this glow inside my body. Its really odd and hard to express how it feels but I think its Hope. Sometimes it is further back so the light is a lot more dim then maybe it should be, and I tend to look right past it... But it IS there. With this new medication, I am trying to be open to anything that comes but at the same time I have been let down so many times that I...

Oh god this am is bad. Seems like the hips and feet are the topic to this mornings rant. Needed to go to the restroom, not one but both feet popped. When I say popped, you would assume that the ankles or even toes produced them. No, for me, the pain and sound came from underneath my feet. A strip that lay directly in the middle of each foot. I heard a SNAP, and about a second and a half from taking another step, my right foot snaps in the same place. It sometimes is accompanied with pain after the initial pop, and other times the sound of the pop stops me in my tracks, and I stand there waiting for it to hit me, and the sound would be the only part that would be initially painful. My hips are the true source of my discourd this morning, though. Both sides. Sometimes I get a sharp, "have to look down to make sure that there are no visible stab wounds" type of pain. Pain. You know, this word gets thrown around a lot. I just started this blog and the word "pain" is use...

Hello fellow readers. My name is Mark Ryan, and I suffer from a rather rare affliction. I use the word "rare" because those are the words that several doctors seem to like when returning to my case or referring me to others when the scratching of their heads argues with their ego. I am typing these words i hopes that it might fill quite a large hole of uncertainty that I have, about my ability as a father, a husband, a provider, and a law abiding citizen. I want to do the right thing, and that I have to be a leader for my children. I vow that they will grow up and be respectful to all walks of life... not because that is what their dad tried to do but, because that is the RIGHT thing to do. I have never been a huge "Blogger" or "Blogist" or... whatever is socially the norm these days. I have been told though that when I write, I have a type of style that at least gets the point across to the other party of what I am trying to convey so... I guess that is a...

A blog. Now what? I don't know. I have been told by several people that blogging can actually be therapeutic. Right now I see this as almost a whine session in text form. I mean... who wants to read the ramblings of a middle aged man in Oklahoma with chronic pain. *I hear it already... bla bla, whine, bla.* I will continue though, reluctant as I am that this will somehow make what I deal with on a day to day basis, better then it is currently. I do warn the reader that I am no writer. No gift of eloquence here. I type as the words come to me, and sugar coating things would only mean that I am lying to myself. I will update, or blog when my body reminds me, or when the odd things happen. I have a mobile device so a lot of the things I post with be happening in the spirit of the moment. A preverbial typo will of course find itself in my blogs, I will not edit to remove the typos or mistakes. This will be a all natural blog the way my body delivers it. The tremors that somehow cast t...