Living With It, Dealing With It

      Still waiting for my referral from the doctors about my surgery.

It is going to be a long time to wait and even a longer recovery time once it happens.

Scared? Yeah. First time under the knife, first time being REALLY partially immobile.

Used to do stuff for myself. People bend over backwards to open doors for me when

they see me coming and although I really appreciate it, it makes me feel disconnected

from myself. Its weird. The gratitude I have is very real but there is always something

in the back of my mind that says, "I should be helping them." I want so much to be helpful

and make an impact in people. I feel broken in that respect. I want my kids to grow up

and know how to treat people and feel empowered to keep doing it without any reward

back other then that feeling and they did something they didn't have to do, or just go that

extra distance.

     Love one another. That isn't hard to do you would think. People still have issues with

negative stigmas though. Its like a race against Races. Equality is the trophy and the final

finishing line is simple. Respect. Some people lay dormant while others are moving at a

snails pace. The rest is urging the others on to victory. The race is still on.