X

Today Is a standard day with the occasional accompanying body shakes. Feeling of vibration on my thighs and fingers mostly.

Its like I have a device on vibrate in my pocket. My fingers are now so twitchy that it is taking longer to type this short post.

Nothing consumed that would be able to effect me this way. Again a loss. No rhyme no reason. Docs know that its genetic.

I have hyper mobility as well but no swelling of the joints so the friggin docs are scratching their heads.

I am just so utterly lost and confused. I have some characteristics of one condition and some from another and another....

and another.

If I could just transfer my pain, channel it to the doctors then perhaps they would understand what life is like in my body.

Sometimes I wish that I could just float above myself without a inch of pain or discomfort. 20 seconds. Its all I ask. 20 seconds of life.

Without my body holding me back. People tell me to try and go on disability but was already denied once a few years back.

It would feel wrong if I did get it. Like I didn't earn it. I'm not diagnosed with anything. If I get a diagnosis, and the prognosis

Is grim, I then would feel better about having filed..

Whatever X is has progressive properties. I used to walk with a cane but now graduated to a Canadian Crutch. In another

few years I honestly don't know what stage I will be at but whatever stage I am on, I hope to still be smiling.

I don't post a lot on this blog but I am going to try to do it more often. Its just, you know, depressing.

When I type the words out it makes whatever I have, more real, and it effects me more emotionally.

Like its etched in stone and can't be changed.

Until next post... take care.