My Thought Process

I see this Blogger application on my phone, day after day I swipe past it and wonder if the next post could somehow alter my course in life. Maybe a bout of clarity that wasn't present before would make itself available to me and then I could explain in a better detail what my body really feels and acts like.

I waste a ton of time trying to suppress my anger, but a lot still shows itself. I am far from being a violent man but I can see how some outside influences can dictate a persons actions. Sometimes I feel myself slipping away and it takes more and more to pull me back.

I actually daydream of being in a horrible accident and not able to feel anything from the neck down. Wow, that is the first time I thought that out loud. That was something that not even my family knew... until just now. Of course I then realize that hugging the ones I loved would be impossible. Holding my wife. Teaching my kids... All of that would be gone. I get mad at myself a lot when I start wondering about what would make MY life easier... when I know it would just make the people that care for me's life harder.

So, my though process continues...

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