The Face Under The Mask

When I started this pain journal I was expecting to put down all of the physical pain and record what started spasming and what I was doing when the onset occurred. Give it to the doctor and boom, done. Instant duagnosis. Sadly it has taken a little detour. I never took in to account the emotional pain that it puts on me, my friends, and most of all... my family. This last year has been the hardest of my life. My illness has gotten progressively worse which effects all of us. There have been so many doctors in the past 10 years. So many meds that did nothing but maybe mask the pain for a few minutes, gave me side effect after side effect... and then subside. My last doctors appointment at the end of November was perhaps the most eye opening that I have had. No news I hadn't already heard but I was getting the paperwork that the doctor gave me and there was a field that said diagnosis/other - it showed the words, Muscular Dystrophy.

          I asked the doctor if that was accurate and she explained that Atrophy is the muscles getting smaller and/or weaker. Dystrophy is when they are disfunctional or abnormal so yes. It is all we have. So... I can say that before It never had a name. When people ask me what is wrong, I just say that it is a neuromuscular issue. They usually stare at me like they don't understand. Hell. I don't understand! Now I say, "Oh, I have Muscular Dystrophy." All is a little more understood then.