9:52
I used my right foot to clear the small rock and jagged glass from beneath the most perfect tree I could find. Using my cane as almost a handrail, I sat down. There were mounds of ant hill to the left and right, but no ant in sight. Perhaps it was the cold air that blew, keeping them within the earth but, I'd like to think that they were giving me my space. Solitude. A chance to think unclouded and without worrying of what else I can obsess over or get angry about.
Other then the faint sound of a helicopter over head, attempting to bring the news back with them, the sound of the wind thru the trees, and the birds echoing to the others, I heard nothing else. The sight though, that is another story.
Beauty in it's most complex form, lay out before me like a play already in progress. Despite the park where I sit is by a elementary school, recess hasn't started, so now I find myself almost trying to "hurry" and relax before the sound of children replaces the sound of serenity. If I could turn my brain off, and rely only on my eyes and ears, I know that I could get more of this experience, but that seems almost impossible at the present.
The chill of the air feels as a rough blanket across my skin. Harsh, and uncaring. I sit in the shade to be able to read this touch screen and try my hand at self therapy. My fingers and their joints feel a resistance, and the sun calls me.
I reach for my cane, and with a few audible grunts and groans, I stand to my feet. Looking around the park, trying to find that perfect "spot." I took three steps and it was then that I saw it. Hidden behind a few trees, it sat. The grass looked like no other spot that I could see in this park. It's shade of green seemed out of place, and odd. "This was perfect!" I thought, because I felt odd and out of place myself.
I nearly stumbled my first few steps getting to this spot. When I stood before it, I grabbed my cane and brushed the handle across it to see if the rain or dew had saturated it. I put my hand over the handle and to my surprise, it was dry. I thought how weird that the tips of my shoes were as wet as they could possibly get. This patch wanted me for a reason. I sat down, again using my cane as leverage. To see the wonder that is nature from this angle was almost surreal. I decided to lay my head down and take it all in. I closed my eyes and just... listened. Open to whatever force was at work to communicate with me. I am not sure if the moment actually spoke to me or if my brain was still multitasking but one single thought penetrated my lips. "I have to feel pain before I can feel the relief of the pain." there has never been, in the whole history of thought, something good that came to pass that didn't have an element of pain or anguish that accompanied it.
Other then the faint sound of a helicopter over head, attempting to bring the news back with them, the sound of the wind thru the trees, and the birds echoing to the others, I heard nothing else. The sight though, that is another story.
Beauty in it's most complex form, lay out before me like a play already in progress. Despite the park where I sit is by a elementary school, recess hasn't started, so now I find myself almost trying to "hurry" and relax before the sound of children replaces the sound of serenity. If I could turn my brain off, and rely only on my eyes and ears, I know that I could get more of this experience, but that seems almost impossible at the present.
The chill of the air feels as a rough blanket across my skin. Harsh, and uncaring. I sit in the shade to be able to read this touch screen and try my hand at self therapy. My fingers and their joints feel a resistance, and the sun calls me.
I reach for my cane, and with a few audible grunts and groans, I stand to my feet. Looking around the park, trying to find that perfect "spot." I took three steps and it was then that I saw it. Hidden behind a few trees, it sat. The grass looked like no other spot that I could see in this park. It's shade of green seemed out of place, and odd. "This was perfect!" I thought, because I felt odd and out of place myself.
I nearly stumbled my first few steps getting to this spot. When I stood before it, I grabbed my cane and brushed the handle across it to see if the rain or dew had saturated it. I put my hand over the handle and to my surprise, it was dry. I thought how weird that the tips of my shoes were as wet as they could possibly get. This patch wanted me for a reason. I sat down, again using my cane as leverage. To see the wonder that is nature from this angle was almost surreal. I decided to lay my head down and take it all in. I closed my eyes and just... listened. Open to whatever force was at work to communicate with me. I am not sure if the moment actually spoke to me or if my brain was still multitasking but one single thought penetrated my lips. "I have to feel pain before I can feel the relief of the pain." there has never been, in the whole history of thought, something good that came to pass that didn't have an element of pain or anguish that accompanied it.
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