tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-47402997723874393492023-11-16T09:54:29.097-06:00Mark H. Ryan's Pain JournalA blog documenting my medical condition. Created in hopes that someone, somewhere will be able to help in my correct diagnosis and/or treatment. 1 flip to this coin. If people read/follow along, if they feel inspired, or suffer from the same affliction or similar, we all have an outlet to say NO MORE will I wake up and dread the day to come. We WILL find cause, closure, treatment, and life because we deserve it.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03493052661509704404noreply@blogger.comBlogger83125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4740299772387439349.post-20052509998200717232018-05-21T16:34:00.002-05:002018-05-21T16:35:50.100-05:00Foot Surgery<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03493052661509704404noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4740299772387439349.post-898221209997970862018-03-14T02:42:00.001-05:002018-03-14T02:42:26.282-05:00WorryfestThis blog entry was created using just my voice. Some sentences might be odd. But I'm posting it as is. It helps me think by speaking.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I'm not a negative person, but some experiences have left me feeling negative. and I hate it.<br />
I hate taking medication for what I have. I hate taking medication. To be anxious all the time and worry• about everything is a full-time job. To be able to relax would be awesome, it's been so long that I've forgotten what being relaxed feels like. I hurt all the time and I worry about that. I worry all the time and I worry about that. I have children and of course I worry about them. Relationships, worry. Money, worry. Every aspect of my life is one big worry fest.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03493052661509704404noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4740299772387439349.post-66841118300638003512018-01-22T23:54:00.002-06:002018-01-22T23:54:42.040-06:00These Boots Are Made For Resting...For some reason both my feet, calves, and right knee are swollen.<br />
Feels like I hyper extended my knee but I don't remember doing it.<br />
I have compression socks on and also a foot stool and it still hurts.<br />
<br />
Bah!<br />
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03493052661509704404noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4740299772387439349.post-30002265769377378832018-01-18T16:31:00.000-06:002018-01-18T16:31:25.146-06:00The Diner SceneThe amount of anxiety is absolutely staggering. Everything feels like it is closing in and piling up and I don't have a way out. Depression is a horrible thing for so many people. I know that if I can just get a handle on what it is that I have, to be diagnosed... things would be so much better. I would know then. Not knowing is so much harder to take... perhaps it WOULD be different if I did know, hell I haven't an idea. I am just grasping at straws at this point. <br />
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I haven't posted on this blog in a while because it just started to seem whiny. Like a four year old wanting candy for dinner. Relentless. Just so hard. I was thinking about deleting this whole blog and not starting over. Not having a pain blog would be my way to say I have no pain. Again, grasping at straws. <br />
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If I could just release and relax... it would be so much easier. No, I am not open to drugs unless they are prescribed. Just how I am. Now if they legalize I would try. But that is probably not something I will see anytime soon. <br />
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Muscles in the constant state of flex, rigid. Always hyper aware of what is usually not focused on. All the time, feeling that. Not able to say fuck it and walk away because your illness won't allow you to. So hard to describe. I am probably not making any sense at all. Something from my brain to my fingertips are not wired correctly. Either that or the words just won't come to me. Straws.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03493052661509704404noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4740299772387439349.post-16835961758517750102018-01-17T15:17:00.000-06:002018-01-17T15:17:04.361-06:00Sick On Top Of SickOn top of the other pains I now have the flu or just getting over the flu. Boy being a grown-up blows. My body aches are x's 10 today for sure. More to come tomorrow...Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03493052661509704404noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4740299772387439349.post-68742980593373275912017-09-29T00:12:00.000-05:002017-09-29T00:13:36.246-05:00I'm back... for the most part. Been a while since I have posted anything. The pain is still there but it is what it is. There. I am at a stalemate and its time to dust off the game board and set the pieces back up. I have conditioned myself to walk without a crutch now. I limp slightly (I think) from time to time. I am fed up more than anything. I wish it wasn't a consistent type of pain... but nevertheless I write it down, look back on it and SOMETIMES laugh. I have to. I am not crying, I refuse to do that. Not feeling sorry for myself. Its the hand I was dealt and I plan on playing the game until its over.<br />
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I know that last part was a bit melodramatic. Its a blog people... I have to spice it up with a little literary flare. It I don't it might as well be a bunch of sad words strung together and I wouldn't even want to read that. <br />
<br />
... more later.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03493052661509704404noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4740299772387439349.post-32806861118654851692016-08-30T14:53:00.000-05:002016-08-30T14:53:01.042-05:00Still BackMy back is still on fire. Lower back. I have been trying to loosen it up but it becomes more and more unbearable as time progresses. Even hurts when I take a deep breath. I go to the pain management doc on the 5th so we will see. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03493052661509704404noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4740299772387439349.post-48920933860502500692016-08-25T19:46:00.001-05:002016-08-25T19:46:08.529-05:00Back spasm (Known Reason) Well I have done it now. Hurt my back. Got a little over zealous while cleaning and arranging the boys room yesterday. I didn't know it had happened until the next day. I have the option of dealing with it or dealing with it. Think I shall do the manly duty and just deal with it.<br />
<br />
I noticed that my pain blog has a lot of poor me's in the passages. I read a few of them and just thought, "Geesh why don't this guy just get over it already?" So I from now like my other blog, which can be found <a href="https://markhryan.wordpress.com/">here</a>, I will try my best to not let it sound so "oh poor me." I think I can get that point across while not sounding like a complete douche.<br />
<br />
So to my back. On a scale from 1 thru to 10, I will rate it on the Pain Geek-O-Meter (because I am a huge geek if I haven't mentioned it before) I would call it an 8-Not even wanting to go to Best Buy with fifty bucks kinda 8. That is a huge deal.<br />
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I think it is mostly my lower back. I can't sit in one place for too long or it just starts spasming. At least I know what caused this pain... not like my other posts. On Well I hadn't updated this blog in a while so, I must now fair thee adieu until next passage.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03493052661509704404noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4740299772387439349.post-71255561826053420872016-08-01T15:34:00.003-05:002016-08-01T15:34:32.130-05:00Latest Doctors VisitNo Wifi so I have textedit opened to transfer to my blog once wifi becomes available.<br />
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Here I sit in the doctors office waiting room. Waiting. This is just your typical, I need refills so I need to see the doctor type visit. I wonder if there will ever be a time where instead of pills, someone says, “Hey, here is a thought… lets find out the source of the pain rather than throwing pills at it to see what sticks?” <br />
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I am not a big pill taker. I don’t like it. Having to set my mood by a clock doesn’t seem right to me. To let a plastic vessel containing capsules that dictate my outlook of the day is a horrible thing, but many live their lives in this way. I have learned to adapt as well. I just wished that I knew what kind of condition I have rather than just living with it. <br />
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Just got my paperwork and am waiting to go back to see the doctor. They have a chart of a person, front and back. They want you to circle what you were having issues with. I circled Neck, both shoulders, Upper and lower back. Both hips, knees, and feet. So basically I circled everywhere that had joints. MAN they ache!<br />
<br />
Back to see the doctor. Pressure was 128 over 82 with a pulse of 97. Pretty good. I usually don’t take notes with me like this but I thought why not. I brought my MacBook and am entering in the information while I wait. I have all the seasons from 1 to 8 of The Big Bang Theory on my computer so I am watching and I am typing. I dig this configuration. I think I will do this from now on. Every little bit of information helps.<br />
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The doctor was just in and I told her about my spine and where my upper back was really aching more then my lower. She asked if I had time to do an x-ray of it today, which surprised me! I said sure so now they left and are getting the X-ray paperwork and hardware ready. <br />
<br />
Ok they called me back and took two X-rays of my back, front and side. Now I am back in my waiting room for the doctor to check them over. Now I am back to waiting. They are really great at The Brooks Clinic where I go. <br />
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Doctor just told me that I have scoliosis, which I think I knew already but that my discs are very thin so it could be a deterioration of the discs and possibly bone on bone. Oh joy. So, she asked me if I would like therapy or to leave it like it is because if could be just spasms OR I could have a herniated disc but that wouldn’t show up in a X-ray, but will in a MRI.<br />
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Ok just got my script and will fill in a few days. Knowing my luck its a herniated disc. *Fingers crossed that it just goes away.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03493052661509704404noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4740299772387439349.post-61000019670444026082016-07-23T02:10:00.001-05:002016-07-23T02:10:11.750-05:00Pissy Body Pardon the crudity of this post. My body is pissing me off. <br />
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Whenever you go to a pain management doctor, they always ask you the same question. What is your pain like today on a scale between 1 to 10 with 10. I always reserve the 9 and 10. There are times where I want to say 11 but of course, I don't. I go in on my 7 and 8 on really bad days. Seeings how the 9 and 10 should be reserved for those who really deserve it. Cancer, brain tumor, car crash or other atrocities. I wouldn't feel right using 9 or 10. Those are reserved for them.<br />
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So as it stands, I take two pain medications. One for actual pain and a muscle relaxant that might as well be the same as drinking a grass of water. My muscle spasms occur whenever they want. I'll be speaking to my kids and I will get a "flutter" in my hand and quickly use the other hand or nod. I don't want to pass any "maybe I got it too" type of thinking to them. They are impressionable. <br />
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My muscles are so ridged all of the time. Imagine if you will, your body and all its muscles tightening at the same time with a few, maybe 1 second and then back every so often. If I would just take something that will allow all the muscles to just release... like sitting in a brand new Lazy-Boy chair and getting lost within the fabric because it relaxes you that much.<br />
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I know some are thinking that the answer is weed. I just can't do something that is illegal. I have too much to loose it all. So that is out. Moving to a state that has it? Sure but financially not an option. Not yet anyways.<br />
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Hands too shaky, will post more later. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03493052661509704404noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4740299772387439349.post-59595201240766173082016-07-17T22:10:00.000-05:002016-07-17T22:10:11.968-05:00My Intentions... I was getting groceries out of our minivan and carried them into the house. There were quite a few but I make it a point to get them all and not make another trip back outside. Got them in the house and then sat down in my chair in our bedroom and my left arm felt really funny. Not heart attack funny. Different than what is usual for me. I looked down and it was shaking like a parkinson patient. My other arm started doing the same thing but not as much. My first thought was muscle exhaustion. But I have had that before, this felt completely different. It lasted for a long time. I took 3 prescribed muscle relaxants an hour prior. Had to take a 4th one which made me feel drugged. I am prescribed 6 a day. 3 at a time so this isn’t odd for me to take that amount. I fell asleep. <br />
<br />
Woke up feeling really groggy and everything was swaying. Extremely odd. I was still shaking just not as badly as I was before. <br />
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I haven't posted anything in awhile. Probably because looking back on my pain journal makes me feel, almost segregated from the rest of the populous. I haven't met anyone anywhere that has my problems. I have met people that have similar issues but they were diagnosed with a certain condition that has already been ruled out by my doctors. So, what gives?<br />
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I have had many "episodes" in the past that I didn't bother posting about. If I did then my posts would consist of me just sounding whiney and pissy like, ow my toe hurts or eek my shoulders feel like they are getting ripped from their sockets, OH POOR ME!<br />
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I sure hope I don't sound like that. It really isn't my intention. If you look at the top of my page it says :<br />
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<i>"A blog documenting my medical condition. Created in hopes that someone, somewhere will be able to help in my correct diagnosis and/or treatment. 1 flip to this coin. If people read/follow along, if they feel inspired, or suffer from the same affliction or similar, we all have an outlet to say NO MORE will I wake up and dread the day to come. We WILL find cause, closure, treatment, and life because we deserve it."</i><br />
<br />
...and that is what my intentions are.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03493052661509704404noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4740299772387439349.post-2237250692576156342016-06-23T09:52:00.001-05:002016-06-23T09:52:05.315-05:00Same Update My muscles are in a constant state of flex. My body is failing me and its getting harder and harder to move. I mean, come on. Something has got to give. Either diagnose me or hell, I don't know! I a, just ranting. Thought I would get my thoughts out here to get some kind of normalcy back. Blogging is supposed to be therapeutic. I still feel like a freak though, sometimes I feel ok, other times I feel so enflamed in my joints. No rhyme or reason. Checked my diet, had blood panels done (a while ago). They ruled out the common ones like arthritis, MS, MD. All I know is that I have what is called Hyper Mobility. Basically all my joints are more elastic than what they should be. That and two torn rotator cuffs. I still get tremors and dizziness. I try to walk without my crutch or my cane and I can usually. I have fallen several times at home trying to not use them. I am getting better at it but it wears me out. I see these 40, 50, 60 year olds walk without needing anything. Some even have a spring in their step. It sounds like I am just down on myself, I know. I am. I just want a body do-over is all, either that or a diagnosis. At least I can give my pain a name.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03493052661509704404noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4740299772387439349.post-30169040379025905812015-08-15T21:28:00.001-05:002015-08-15T21:28:04.092-05:00Living With It, Dealing With It<div> Still waiting for my referral from the doctors about my surgery.</div><div>It is going to be a long time to wait and even a longer recovery time once it happens.</div><div>Scared? Yeah. First time under the knife, first time being REALLY partially immobile.</div><div>Used to do stuff for myself. People bend over backwards to open doors for me when </div><div>they see me coming and although I really appreciate it, it makes me feel disconnected</div><div>from myself. Its weird. The gratitude I have is very real but there is always something </div><div>in the back of my mind that says, "I should be helping them." I want so much to be helpful</div><div>and make an impact in people. I feel broken in that respect. I want my kids to grow up </div><div>and know how to treat people and feel empowered to keep doing it without any reward</div><div>back other then that feeling and they did something they didn't have to do, or just go that </div><div>extra distance.</div><div><br></div><div> Love one another. That isn't hard to do you would think. People still have issues with </div><div>negative stigmas though. Its like a race against Races. Equality is the trophy and the final</div><div>finishing line is simple. Respect. Some people lay dormant while others are moving at a </div><div>snails pace. The rest is urging the others on to victory. The race is still on.</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03493052661509704404noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4740299772387439349.post-44585803208868954302015-06-17T14:47:00.001-05:002015-06-17T14:47:59.561-05:00Latest Doctor Visit<div> Well, it turns out that I will be needing surgery on both shoulders. I have 2 torn rotator cuffs. The left is way worse than the right. This is going to be quite an ordeal because</div><div>I use my right arm with a Canadian crutch. There will be no way to walk around if I put my right arm in a sling. Kinda freaking out. I also have never had surgery before.</div><div>I will have to figure something out, I will have to.</div><div><br></div><div>Surgery isn't scheduled yet, waiting for referrals. More to come later...</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03493052661509704404noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4740299772387439349.post-25884491484136469312015-06-16T19:10:00.001-05:002015-06-16T19:10:10.395-05:00Leg Motor and MRI news soon Lately my right let has been going so fast as I am sitting still. It started not too long ago. Its like I cant turn it off like someone that is very antsy. Don't know what that is all about. I have a doctors apt tomorrow to go over my neck and shoulders MRI. They told me with x-rays that my neck has severe arthritis. I will post more tomorrow once I find out more. Till then... Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03493052661509704404noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4740299772387439349.post-6965323512863302702015-03-16T21:07:00.001-05:002015-03-16T21:07:13.455-05:00X<div><br></div><div>Today Is a standard day with the occasional accompanying body shakes. Feeling of vibration on my thighs and fingers mostly. </div><div>Its like I have a device on vibrate in my pocket. My fingers are now so twitchy that it is taking longer to type this short post. </div><div>Nothing consumed that would be able to effect me this way. Again a loss. No rhyme no reason. Docs know that its genetic.</div><div>I have hyper mobility as well but no swelling of the joints so the friggin docs are scratching their heads.</div><div><br></div><div>I am just so utterly lost and confused. I have some characteristics of one condition and some from another and another....</div><div>and another.</div><div><br></div><div>If I could just transfer my pain, channel it to the doctors then perhaps they would understand what life is like in my body.</div><div>Sometimes I wish that I could just float above myself without a inch of pain or discomfort. 20 seconds. Its all I ask. 20 seconds of life.</div><div>Without my body holding me back. People tell me to try and go on disability but was already denied once a few years back.</div><div>It would feel wrong if I did get it. Like I didn't earn it. I'm not diagnosed with anything. If I get a diagnosis, and the prognosis </div><div>Is grim, I then would feel better about having filed.. </div><div><br></div><div>Whatever X is has progressive properties. I used to walk with a cane but now graduated to a Canadian Crutch. In another</div><div>few years I honestly don't know what stage I will be at but whatever stage I am on, I hope to still be smiling.</div><div><br></div><div>I don't post a lot on this blog but I am going to try to do it more often. Its just, you know, depressing.</div><div>When I type the words out it makes whatever I have, more real, and it effects me more emotionally.</div><div>Like its etched in stone and can't be changed. </div><div><br></div><div>Until next post... take care.</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03493052661509704404noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4740299772387439349.post-3976805480259149042015-03-07T05:01:00.001-06:002015-03-07T05:01:16.861-06:005:00am Took a nap too early. Everyone is obviously asleep. Hip and shoulder pain severe. Can't get comfortable within myself. Nothing to take for the pain like always. Full day tomorrow. Grin and bear through it.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03493052661509704404noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4740299772387439349.post-31643883694071909372015-03-02T20:46:00.001-06:002015-03-02T20:48:22.987-06:00It's All About Genetics <div> So I went to a rheumatoid specialist and I apparently have a genetic disorder. Meaning... not fixable. </div><div><br></div><div>So I will be awaiting the results of the tests. Will post when I find out.</div><div><br></div><div>Feeling very downward spiral-ish. </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03493052661509704404noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4740299772387439349.post-52988036687248320482015-01-01T06:21:00.001-06:002015-01-01T06:21:26.311-06:0012 Seconds<p dir="ltr">I almost fell asleep watching my right hand. It started as a kind of twitch. I felt it but couldn't see it move. After a few painful "twitches" it then started to physically move. My two middle fingers at first. They were moving side to side instead of the way someone would grasp something or make a fist. Pulses. Then my pinkie. Without consciously flexing a muscle my hand was almost flapping to gain flight. For about 12 seconds... and it was gone. That's it. The only thing that remained were extremely sore muscles. I wished that i could call it a standard run of the mill spasm but, i cant. It felt like something different. Something was off.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I really don't understand my body sometimes. No one does it seems. I haven't had a muscle flutter quite like this one. It is physically hard to type this post after experienced something like that. Nothing has changed in my diet, I ate no new foods or drink. No consumption of alcohol or drugs... nothing different than any other day.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Happy New Year body, you're broken. What a letdown. A shitty start of the new year, or perhaps it was the punctuation ending the prior year. A subtle fuck you, I'm done. Moving on. Yeah, I guess its all about how you look at things... or how you choose how not to look at things.</p>
<p dir="ltr">This is not sitting well with me at all. I am not freaking out or anything. My body has done this weird stuff for a while. Just not for a long time. I'd like to think my body was healing or something. Anyway, it was enough of a hhmm moment to make me write a blog post about it so... it must have been pretty significant. I started this blog a few years ago and have learned to resent it but, I know it has to be done. If anything it gives me a blueprint of how whatever it is has escalated as well as a timeframe.</p>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03493052661509704404noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4740299772387439349.post-34115151503891845302014-12-19T11:43:00.001-06:002014-12-19T11:43:26.130-06:00Definition<br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYwoPPJ24LSdQVLU69GG-tRgODSxhQAV2Jg6Rr2rlxn5IAvc2TfJIuRz4AwFPoXD0ZyWkrpL2ey8FNCjY2umnryRFJlyGSR-rHEbEGlh2zlzvAfee-ffhSqsGMBPPnztOOjV-xfG2xEXS1/s640/blogger-image-975893063.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYwoPPJ24LSdQVLU69GG-tRgODSxhQAV2Jg6Rr2rlxn5IAvc2TfJIuRz4AwFPoXD0ZyWkrpL2ey8FNCjY2umnryRFJlyGSR-rHEbEGlh2zlzvAfee-ffhSqsGMBPPnztOOjV-xfG2xEXS1/s640/blogger-image-975893063.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">My current mode of transportation. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2pQUaehKa0s7IBx4_JTe49ZY_PFDGbRbEtQGqUFnKnkOQKOVLPhNUeJYMYeBjJ0NtfAAupppLUNMBZEijTZpHwZ1PAYsMM9jY699qQbCnavv3yURy0poVIBAyDuh_hy4zDhvwu_FdaCiP/s640/blogger-image-119726172.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2pQUaehKa0s7IBx4_JTe49ZY_PFDGbRbEtQGqUFnKnkOQKOVLPhNUeJYMYeBjJ0NtfAAupppLUNMBZEijTZpHwZ1PAYsMM9jY699qQbCnavv3yURy0poVIBAyDuh_hy4zDhvwu_FdaCiP/s640/blogger-image-119726172.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Whatever I see whenever I look down. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">This doesn't define me because I won't let it. </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03493052661509704404noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4740299772387439349.post-43081619561124631422014-07-27T05:00:00.001-05:002014-07-27T10:55:11.503-05:00Crutch Time<p dir="ltr">I recently graduated from using a cane for 8 or 9 years to using a Canadian Crutch (just one). My body is quite sore trying to get used to the added weight and movement.  After asking someone that has had to use one for about 15 years it's to be expected. Had to swallow a lot of pride to just use the cane but going to the crutch is even more daunting. More noticeable, louder, and mechanical. I hate it because I see the different looks people give me. More people open doors for me and just overall looks of sadness. I HATE IT! I have just got to come to grips with it though. Show people I function still. Don't get me wrong, people are great but I am capable of most things and just don't want to be labeled. Some would love all the help and I DO appreciate it... but I provide for my family and want to be able to do stuff on my own. <br></p>
<p dir="ltr">-- someone just posted this on my face book and it helped to have a different perspective other then that Which was drenched in male pride.<br></p>
<p dir="ltr"><i>"Maybe a different way to look at it....I was once on crutches for several weeks, right before Christmas, in icy weather. It was SO difficult. So yes, when I see someone on crutches, I step out of the way, open the door,make eye contact, etc....but it isn't pity-it is respect It is my way of saying" Man, that is hard work! Let me lighten it a bit for you for a minute, brother." Because I can, and because someone else did for me once."</i></p>
<p dir="ltr">I feel much better. Thank you. I guess blogging Is therapeutic! <br>
</p>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03493052661509704404noreply@blogger.com0Midwest City, Midwest City35.449505 -97.396706tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4740299772387439349.post-31701559678680884402014-05-07T10:03:00.001-05:002014-05-07T10:03:10.650-05:0020 Watt Visible TunnelI have a job finally. It isn't the greatest and demands physical exertion but anything at this point is welcomed. Stocking shelves. I get to work with the general public so that is a plus seeings how I am a people person.. Still looking for a better job but obviously the 2 week rule will be in effect. My family and I really are appreciative to the people we are staying with. Been rough but I see light at the end of the tunnel. I have stopped using the cane all together unless the weather gets me but I am very proud of the way I have conditioned myself. I still feel pain but biting through is getting easier at times.<div><br></div><div>More to come later... Wish me luck!<br><div><br></div><div><br></div></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03493052661509704404noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4740299772387439349.post-21507884139187385292014-01-19T20:11:00.001-06:002014-01-19T20:11:35.302-06:00Cane-less?<p>I have been trying to walk as much as possible without my cane and forcing myself to not rely on it so much. I have noticed that it is getting increasingly harder to NOT use it though. I feel great when I don’t use it. Its like not having to rely on artificial means to get around but not sure how much damage I am doing. I have realized that I am causing my body to work harder than it would and end up just hurting more later on. I also try to use the stairs instead of the elevator whenever possible.</p> <p>Should I just swallow my pride keep pushing my body and hope the pain goes away or do I just say screw it, take a hit and use it and get over my issues about using it?</p> Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03493052661509704404noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4740299772387439349.post-37666136149904564072014-01-06T01:45:00.001-06:002014-01-06T01:45:55.361-06:00What Weight?I have lost 12 lbs so far do to stress. Just not hungry anymore it seems. I am not taking any or less medications then what I was prescribed. No vitamins or supplements. My pants hang on me, and I get these horrible shooting pains in the front and back of my head that usually makes its way to the back of my eyes to the point that whenever I move my eyes to focus on anything the pain increases. Yeah, you are probably right, I need to eat more, start taking vitamins and... lol exercise lol. <div><br></div><div>I am still very thankful for the health I have because, as they all say- It could be much worse.</div><div><br></div><div><br></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03493052661509704404noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4740299772387439349.post-91499896790353454632013-12-19T13:14:00.001-06:002013-12-19T13:14:18.385-06:00The bump Heard On The Other Side Of The WallI woke up this morning with severe shoulder pain. Thinking I just slept on it wrong, I rolled over and instant pain on both sides. My lower back and head-ache behind my right eye. I feel like I got my butt kicked while in my sleep. No chance of falling off the bed because I sleep along the wall. I was told that for an hour and 45 minutes there was a sound along the wall I slept adjacent to of someone hitting it repeatedly. Although I am not sure what body part was I was hitting the wall with, I do know I am sore as hell.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03493052661509704404noreply@blogger.com0